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Come Reason's Apologetics Notes blog will highlight various news stories or current events and seek to explore them from a thoughtful Christian perspective. Less formal and shorter than the Web site articles, we hope to give readers points to reflect on concerning topics of the day.

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Friday, February 22, 2013

Top Ten Christian Breakup Lines

Last week, in celebration of Valentine's Day, I published my list of Top Ten Christian Pickup Lines. It was my little gift to those who didn't have anyone to celebrate the holiday with. Now, I thought I also should do a good turn to those who were expecting to celebrate the day with that special someone, but the wretch was a no-show. So, here are my Top Ten Christian Break-up Lines. These are seasoned with just enough humility and holiness to sound genuine, while getting that good-for-nothing out of your life. All in the name of Christian service.
  • 10. "You're my sister (or brother) in the Lord, and I just don't feel right about dating my sister."
  • 9. "I'm Calvinist and we just weren't predestined to be."
  • 8. "I'm going to purify myself from all earthly pleasures."
  • 7. "My Old Testament studies will be taking up more of my time—in Qumran."
  • 6. "I'm modeling my life after Jesus, and he was celibate."
  • 5. "You're egalitarian and I'm complimentarian, so I just can't see how it will work out."
  • 4. "God loves me and must have a better plan for my life."
  • 3. "I've read C.S. Lewis' Four Loves and you're not one of them."
  • 2. "I feel like Peter: I used to walk on water when I thought of you but now I'm sinking and just need to get back into the boat."
  • 1."Your price isn't above rubies."

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