Last week, in celebration of Valentine's Day, I published my list of Top Ten Christian Pickup Lines. It was my little gift to those who didn't have anyone to celebrate the holiday with. Now, I thought I also should do a good turn to those who were expecting to celebrate the day with that special someone, but the wretch was a no-show. So, here are my Top Ten Christian Break-up Lines. These are seasoned with just enough humility and holiness to sound genuine, while getting that good-for-nothing out of your life. All in the name of Christian service.
- 10. "You're my sister (or brother) in the Lord, and I just don't feel right about dating my sister."
- 9. "I'm Calvinist and we just weren't predestined to be."
- 8. "I'm going to purify myself from all earthly pleasures."
- 7. "My Old Testament studies will be taking up more of my time—in Qumran."
- 6. "I'm modeling my life after Jesus, and he was celibate."
- 5. "You're egalitarian and I'm complimentarian, so I just can't see how it will work out."
- 4. "God loves me and must have a better plan for my life."
- 3. "I've read C.S. Lewis' Four Loves and you're not one of them."
- 2. "I feel like Peter: I used to walk on water when I thought of you but now I'm sinking and just need to get back into the boat."
- 1."Your price isn't above rubies."
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